January 12th, 2024
3rd First Semester
an evaluation of my third attempt in school, my creative growth, and a look into my fall end-of-semester portfolio
School resumes in less than 24 hours, and with my budding anticipation (and evergrowing nervousness), I wanted to reflect on the fall semester.
Before I start I want to say that there were plenty of challenges and moments of doubt, but I’m proud of myself for seeing it through. This was more than just another semester for me—it marked my third attempt at college and my second time going through this very photography program. Of course, I walked into it with fear and embarrassment weighing heavily on me. I was embarrassed by the possibility of being judged by my peers, embarrassed by my failure the first time around, and haunted by the lingering question: What if I fail again? But I knew I couldn’t let those fears define me or keep me from preserving.
Looking back now, I see the fall semester as my redemption arc. I pushed through the doubts and the self-criticism, even when I didn’t believe I could succeed. After failing twice before, this attempt felt like a hail mary —a last-ditch effort to prove to myself that I’m capable. And, thank god, I did it.
One of the most significant points of my fall semester was my final project. The portfolio assignment was 50% of my grade and I wanted it to feel special to me.
I decided to use my portfolio to photograph individuals doing what they love and find pride in. I wanted to share a series that reflected why I chose photography, for the passion and love of it, without thoughts of fame or popularity. My portfolio was about more than just creating technically sound images; it was about telling stories, making space for visibility, and capturing the beauty of individuality.
The process of photographing that project wasn’t easy—I faced scheduling conflicts, technical challenges, and moments of creative doubt—but each shoot taught me something new. I saw firsthand how important representation is, and I realized that photography can be a powerful tool for amplifying voices that aren’t always heard. It reminded me that art is more than a skill; it’s a purpose.
I think that if I could go back, I would have liked to work on my time management when completing these photos. Unfortunately, my portfolio was completed the day of the gallery and that was only due to the sympathy of my teacher (who continued to run my film, though I fell asleep after work and turned it in an hour late, Thanks Will!). It was rushed and could’ve been better, but it was completed. For that, I’m proud.
Overall, I walked away with more knowledge about what I wanted out of photography. I was extremely proud of myself during my review, I was proud of the way I spoke about my portfolio and I was proud to share it with the people I care and love.
Looking back, I realize I grew in ways I wasn’t expecting. I learned to ask for help when I needed it, to push through fear, and to trust myself overall. I learned to see myself not as someone defined by failure, but as someone capable of overcoming it. I refound my passion for photography, I restored my confidence.
The fall semester taught me that redemption isn’t a grand, dramatic moment—it’s a quiet, steady process of showing up and doing the work, even when you’re unsure of the outcome. I didn’t think I had it in me, but I proved myself wrong.
Now, as I step into this new semester, I carry that lesson with me. I can truly see my progress now and I want to keep working towards it. My goal is to keep building on that foundation. I want to push my creative boundaries, continue telling meaningful stories through my work, and grow as a photographer and as a person.